Monday, 14 December 2009

Hitler: More than just a maniacal mass-murderer.

WAY too busy to be writing blogs, oh, for weeks now. And who'd want to bother with creative self-expression when there are student essays to mark? Anyway, I have managed to pull myself away for just a mo to pass along this little gem. Forthwith, I present to you, Viscount Monckton of Brenchley!

The Guardian account is here.

And who could pass up yet another chance to comment on a use of Hitler by right-wing fear-mongerers? Oh, not I! Because it was not so long ago that I was pointing out how the insidious little pigeon-shit AN Wilson -- in the Mail, where else? The Official 'You're Like Hitler, You Are!' Newspaper -- was likening Hitler to scientists whose research had the temerity to disagree with his fairy-tale Weltanschauung. Or was that the other way around? I don't remember. Anyway, here we go again. Thank you Lord Monckton, you giant bug-eyed hereditary shitface, and Congratulations!; you are this week's recipient of the Completely Inappropriate Evocation of Hitler Award.

The Completely Inappropriate Evocation of Hitler Awards -- or FUCKWITs, for short -- is bestowed whenever I feel like it to those public figures who, through a Completely Inappropriate Evocation of Hitler, demonstrate an obsessed-paranoid of the world, a foot-stamping, superstitious obstinacy and a Cyclopean view of history. Sorry. I shouldn't say that. It's rude to Cyclops (who, By God! really ARE Hitler!). But the recipients of FUCKWITs also demonstrate a relationship with morality that, optimistically, kindly, one might describe as merely perverse.

Because why is it that the winning FUCKWITs invariably and inevitably seem to be those people who, in all likelihood, would have spent the better part of the 1930s stood before the mirror in the boudoir, dressed in standard issue brown suits learning to say Willkommen! like they really meant it? No, I don't think it is an accident. It may be because their view of the world is so completely back-assward that they actually do see themselves as the victims, the last defenders of truth and justice. (Though I rather like the explanation I heard earlier today, that they are just sublimating their own guilt.)

So, just for the record, Lord Monckton, AN Wilson, Melanie Phillips and whoever else aspires to a FUCKWIT, not to dampen your ambitions (because, hey, you've got to make your name some way), but it's like this:

Hate-spreading, mass-murdering fascists with unfashionable facial hair: Bad.

Seed-eating, hemp-knitting, pro-environmental activists and glass-eyed, Bunsen-burning, University Challenge obsessives: I'm sorry, just not in the same league. In fact, in terms you can understand: UnBad.

On the other hand, paranoid, self-serving, profit-seeking mouthpieces of capitalism who thought the Crusades were a bloody good show?... Well. Keep up the good work. You'll be surrounded by more FUCKWITs before you know it.

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